Spoiler clearance: Toll the Hounds

   First dialog between Karsa and Dassem. Karsa says: ‘Malazan.’ Dassem says: ‘I am called Traveller.’ Then Karsa: ‘You hide your name.’

   Listen, Karsa, have you ever heard the real name of any Malazan soldier?

   Spoiler clearance: excellent question!

   Going into the subway station yesterday, I stepped in sticky pink chewing-gum. I wanted to say: ‘Holy mother of a crap!’, but what naturally came out of my mouth was: ‘Holy mother of a Kruppe!’

   Spoiler clearance: Toll the Hounds

   I like Aranatha. Especially since page 371 when she is saying: ‘Do you feel me, Nimander?’ This sentence is so not medieval and yet so very damn cool. Erikson probably considered it for a minute, hesitated, and then decided to just go for it. Really gives us a good sense of who that girl really is: some sort of young Alanis Morissette, at the time of her first album. Wild and wise. (Actually I think she uses these words exactly, in one of her first songs.)

   Anyway, Crone said this funny thing about Rake’s kin: ‘The Tiste Andii are not a people prone to sudden attacks of joy, are they? Dancing into darkness? The wild cheerful cavort into the future?’

   I believe Aranatha to be an exception. She could very well do that stuff – she’s weird enough, isn’t she? Not as far gone as Sinn. Not as sad as Beak.

   Black sheep of the Andii, then. What’s not to like?

   Spoiler clearance: Toll the Hounds

   Good news, Malazan Geeks of the Fallen. I am currently working on my Malazan Monopoly board-game, although I wonder if somebody else had this idea before me? Parker Brothers and Hasbro, please don’t sue – I do not want to go to jail and not pass Go!

   I had the idea because of something Barathol said. ‘The Emperor was not one to cringe before professional monopolies of any sort.’ (Toll the Hounds, p. 435).

   In this version of Monopoly, each color is a City, with two or three districts in every city. Malaz City is the color Orange, and offers Lightings District, Riverwalk, and The Mouse. Letheras (Green) has its Drownings District, Creeper District, and North Tiers. Capustan (Red) boasts its Inner Square, Jelarkan Concourse, and The Green. Unta is Blue, the richest place on that board, with two locations instead of three: Noble District, and Marble Slope Road. Like in the regular Monopoly, one must own all of one color before starting to build Estates.

   Houses become Estates. Hotels become Castles. Jail becomes Azath. The four Railroads become the Imperial Warren (must own all four in order to cash in). The money will be Gold Jakatas – gonna buy two large bags of those plastic ‘pirate gold coins’ online.

   The ‘Community Chest’ cards will become ‘Deck of Dragons’ cards, with special effects on the game. The ‘Chance’ deck will be the ‘Lady’s Pull / Lord’s Push’ deck. I’ve already started to work on some cards. Here are two ‘property’ cards, along with two from the Lady’s Pull / Lord’s Push…

   Spoiler clearance: none

   There is a Whiskeyjack in the Bridgeburners, and there was one in Neil Gaiman’s American Gods, too. But it’s not all, because there are two different things called Avatar: the blue-people film, and also that famous manga about Airbenders and Firebenders and the rest of that Bender folk. Then (this is the funny part) there are three different ‘Night Watches’ to speak of – one in the Millennium trilogy, another in Game of Thrones, and yet another in Sergei Lukyanenko’s books!

   Night Watches are kewl, I suppose... I mean, come on, these dudes work nights (night is exciting), plus, they have to watch something or someone (watching is exciting).

   So, do not get too confused if there’s ever an avatar of Whiskeyjack in the Night Watch...

   Spoiler clearance: Toll the Hounds

   Two hundred pages along, and it’s great fun! Glad to be reunited with Picker and Mallet, and the rest of the old survivors. Rake is there, Mappo is there too, and we even caught a quick glimpse of Dassem or am I hallucinating? Anyway… should be good!

   Best line of the book so far? The ex-tyrant, Raest, is trapped inside Darujhistan’s Azath, and he says: ‘The stresses of owning property.’

   What a laugh.

   That bit about Rake becoming nothing more than a bureaucrat, was also pretty darn funny. Just imagine living in Black Coral and getting your tax forms…

   Opinions are good. Questions and analysis, too. But I could also just shut up and read the books. What Avas Didion Flicker said in Crack’d Pot Trail was probably a hint, if you think about it. ‘With our words we wear ten thousand skins, and with our words we invite you to do the same. We do not ask for your calculation, nor your cynicism. We do not ask you how well we are doing.’

   Still gonna keep writing these posts, though. My I.Q. is lower than Karsa’s, but my stubbornness is (possibly) greater than his.